Well, when I was a kid I would always get into trouble. I was so angry and got suspended from school all the time. So my mom finally took me to go see someone. They spoke with me for a while and decided on medication.
So they ended up putting me on Ritalin. I was on that for a while, but I felt like a zombie. I told my mom how I was feeling and they switched me to Dexedrine. That made me lose my appetite. So my final medication was Adderall.
I took medication throughout school for an extended amount of time. Then when I hit middle school or so I told my mom that I was done with taking medication and that I wanted to deal with my ADHD on my own.
She told me that I could do that if I wanted to. So I stopped for a very long time. I believe I was doing a good job of keeping it under control. That was until I got older and realize I’m not good at managing my finances. I’m still very impulsive and had particularly bad anger issues.
So I went to a physician again and had to get re-diagnosed. They said yup you have ADHD. 😆 I already knew that since I have always had it, I told the physician. So they put me on Adderall XR. It has helped me out a lot, but I want to start to get away from it again.
I know that meditation has helped me keep my anger under control. I have also gone through years’ worth of therapy and have changed a lot personally. Therapy and meditation have opened my mind and dived deep into my thoughts and feelings.
Would I say ADHD has made my life harder? Yes in some ways it has, but in other ways, I look to it as a gift. It helps me think outside the box and occasionally being impulsive and acting on your gut feeling can benefit you to overcome challenges you never thought you could.
My Daughter will be going to California this summer to go stay with her grandma. She is so excited about it and mentions what she wants to do and where she wants to go eat. It makes me happy to see her this excited.
Her trip to California will also give her a break from her brother. This year she will be 12 and she really just needs some space from her brother since they share a room right now.
So this trip I think will give her and her brother the time they need apart. Until we can afford to get a place where they have thier own rooms. I can’t wait till that day because they both deserve it.
The only thing that has me worried, is that she is flying out by herself. I know its safe and not that bad. How do I know? Because I myself have taken a flight without parents as a kid across country, but even knowing that, I am still worried.
So I told her as soon as she lands to call us. She agreed and that helped me feel a lot better.
She told me she wants to go to mochinut and also get some mangas and maybe a purse out there. Which is funny because she is like her Mom and I. We both like anima and mangas. We also really like that mochinut place. If you really like mochi. I really recommend you trying that place out.
When she is gone I hope she really just enjoys her time away from home. She is a kid and growing so fast. She is almost a teenager it’s crazy how time flys by, I wish I could slow time down.
As I get older, I’m realizing I need to be more into the present then more into the future or past. I need to live in the here and now. Otherwise I am going to miss out on whats in front of my eyes.
So as she grows, I hope she stays in the present instead of the past the future or stuck in her mind. Because we all tend to care more about what we think other people thinks about us. When we should be out of our minds and thoughts and just live in the here and now and to be in the present moment.
I feel as long as she does that she will acheive all her dreams and will feel on top of the world. She is smart, brave, kind, and will stand up for what is right. I’m happy to watch her grow and know she will grow to be a very smart, strong and wonderful woman.
It feels like I’ve lived paycheck to paycheck all my life. Even as a kid living in trailer parks or a womans shelter. I’ve always been in or around poverty. Don’t get me wrong later as a kid after my parents got divorce. My mom ended up getting a nice house ect…
That’s when she moved from California to Arizona. I didn’t go with her at the time, because I was 18 and wanted to stay in California with the love of my life. Now she is my beautiful wife and we have two beautiful children.
After I moved out, I was living in my car for a few days. Then my wife’s dad let me stay in the house with him for a while till I found a place to live. Which I ended up renting a room. But ever since I’ve moved out I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck. Yeah some of it is definitely my fault.
I wish the schools would have gone over finances ect… When I was younger, but they didn’t. That isn’t the only problem though, it’s not just happening to me. It’s happening to a lot of people.
I think it’s the greed in companys and humanity. We see all these really rich people getting richer, but it feels like everyone else is getting poorer.
It’s sad that we let people sleep under bridges, living on the streets. I see it all the time working while inspecting bridges. It’s just sad as humans we allow our own people to live in very poor conditions and are starving.
I think as humans we need to let go of all this greed and start changing the world to a world that welcomes all humans. No matter if you are female, male, black, white ect…..
We all need to live a life that makes all of us happy and makes the world a better place. We owe our kids and grandkids a better world then the one that they currently live in.
So if anyone is reading this please try and help with this change. Help humanity become less greedy and help give back to the world and help our planet gain its health back.
Because we all need to heal and overcome our greed and start living a happier and healthy life. Help people the best you can.
I hope whoever is reading this has a great day and keep your positive vibes going.
So I’ve been thinking of ways to start a business and to start a passive income. I really want to make sure my kids can have the best lives they can have.
So just trying to figure out how to make it possible. It can be hard trying to figure stuff out on your own. That’s why I’m blogging about it. If anyone has any ideas or thoughts please feel free to message me.
I was thinking of starting a pet boutique for my wife. She really loves animals. So I feel like she would enjoy doing a business like that. Instead of this day to day 9 to 5 for an employer that could careless if you are there tomorrow.
As for passive income. That one is hard to figure out for me. Because I currently don’t have money to invest and I’m not an artist 😂
I was thinking about blogging as a passive income, but I know it takes a very long time and audience for you to start a passive income from a blog.
Everyday I keep searching for ideas and answers, but I feel like I get more lost sometimes. So if anyone on here has any real and truthful advice please message me.
Anyways I hope everyone has a great day ☺️ and keep them positive vibes.
Tola Rose is a 4 month old standard poodle. We went and picked her up at a private breeder. We picked her up when she was about 2 months old. I am so happy we got her. She is a very sweet dog. She does tend to nip a little. It’s because she is teething and loosing teeth. So we are working on that with her.
So as soon as we got her. We setup a appointment for her to get he vaccine shots. As of yesterday she officially has all the shots she needs.
Now that we have all of her shots. We are going to start taking her to even more places. My wife has been working on her training and has been doing an amazing job. We want to train her the best we can.
We have also been cutting her hair by our selves. Let me tell you it was a challenge at first. Also we both were a little nervous, but I’m glad we cut her hair. Not only does it look good but we also don’t have to spend extra money we could be saving on dog grooming.
So we definitely want to keep grooming her at home. I would say the hardest part in cutting her hair would be cutting in between her paws. Other than that, she was really easy to cut her hair.
So what commands does she currently know?
She knows how to sit, come, paw, gentle, down and fetch. We want to get her into agility and more. She is a very active dog. Which I think is good for our family. Because now we have an excuse to go more places and meet new people. I think she will help us make new friends.
Overall she is a very sweet cute little puppy and I can’t wait till she is full grown. 🥰
Anyways whoever’s reading this I appreciate you and I’m sorry I can be random. Also have a great day today and keep positive vibes 😊
I don’t know if this will go well at all but I figured I’d try and sell photos on Etsy and maybe even word doc templates ect.. not sure yet but this is what I currently have.
One of my dreams was watching my kid’s playing with our future dog outside. Just watching them enjoy life. I picture my wife and I living in a house near her Mom. Why you may ask near her mom’s. Well because we would love for our kids to be around her. Plus the kids really enjoy talking to her and spending time with her!
In my dream we are close enough to go to her mom’s or who knows maybe she lived with us, it was a dream. All I know is the dream made me actually think about my dreams.
So I would like a house near or even with my wife’s mom. Because in that dream. My kids were so so happy. They were having a blast spending time with grandma. My wife was also super happy! The happiest I’ve seen her.
My wife is also a momma’s girl. Which there’s nothing wrong with that. I also notice when my wife isn’t near her mom, she isn’t that happy and she gets really depressed. But when she is near her mom she is really happy and smiling.
So my dream is to make my wife and kid’s both smile really big and be happy. Because I will figure away to save enough money and do whatever it takes to get us to be closer to her mom. That will make my family the happiest and I know it! Now it’s time to plan out how to do it and make my family’s dream a reality!
I will keep posting on my progress towards this dream!
So I’m writing this to kind of vent about my current situation at work. Okay, I’ve been working at an engineering office as a bridge inspector. So in our company, we have 2 people per team and about every 6 months to a year, we change crews. Well, whoever is your crew leader they write up a review on you, and then your main supervisor will write one based on the one that was written by your team lead.
So 3 years ago, I was teamed up with a guy that no longer works for the company I work for. I was doing pretty good with him at first. Until this guy was starting to drink heavily. When I mean heavy I mean he consumes a massive amount of alcohol.
So when we go inspect bridges we have to stay a week out of town. Well, one day we went out of town, and usually, the inspection team shares a hotel room. Well, he went out which isn’t an issue. Until he brings a woman back to your room while you’re asleep.
Why is that a problem you may ask? Well because what if that woman he picked up at the bar was playing him. What if she had some dude follow her and once she gets close to our hotel room they rush in and rob us or what if she woke up in the morning and accuses both of us of rape etc……. The list can go on for what could have gone wrong.
So when I woke up I was pissed and I expressed my concerns about it in the office. Well then he started to come at me and make up stuff. He was like coming at me hard. He just keep coming at me like I did something wrong.
Well, you may ask why not go to your bosses? That’s what I did I went to my boss and he came in to talk to him. This was during the time they had employee reviews. So as soon as my boss walks out of the room. He began to type up the nastiest review about me in front of me as he was taunting me and laughing.
That day made me feel down and I felt suicidal. I ended up seeing a therapist for that and I still do. I would recommend anyone to talk to a therapist when you need someone to talk to or you need mental help. Because your mental health is very important.
So after that review it pretty much made me look like I didn’t know my job and that I was useless to the company. This hurts because I am far from that, I wake up 4:30 AM every morning. If I’m working at the office I start working at 5:00 AM and begin to work. By the way, our office hours are 7:00 AM to 5:00 PM. So I am at the office before my bosses. I’m the one that unlocks every door in our office then I begin to work.
After that review every other review. I started working with another guy in our office. While I was working with him everything was going well. Until we argued in the field. Well, he ended up wrapping his hands around my throat and he smashed my head and pinned it against the van door window.
So after that, he gave me a bad review too. So I ended up telling my boss about it but he ignored it and still hasn’t talked to me about it. So after that, I knew my boss isn’t looking out for me or anyone else.
So after that review, I started to work with one of my friends at work. I worked with him all year and I explained my situation to him and showed him what they wrote about me and he was mind blown. He told me don’t worry I’m going to give you a really good review! So that’s exactly what he did I read it it was really good and the truth.
Well then I go to my boss’s office and the review he wrote was matching what the old ones said which was based on lies and also it’s supposed to be a yearly review not combined all the years. So I showed my friend and it blew his mind. I also think it helped change his mind about the company and he too wants to work somewhere else. Because our office is toxic and there is no communication with management.
You might ask why not go to HR? At the time my boss is friends with the main HR woman. So I was afraid to talk to her about it.
So now it brings us to this year. So I started working with another friend at the office. So I’ve worked with him for a while now. He wrote my review and asked me to read it. So I read it and it looked really good and it was for this year that I worked with him. So I figured my review has to change since his review is very good.
Well, I was beyond wrong. I go into my boss’s office and he starts the review off by saying I was going to fire you! So I asked how come? He replied because of the email I sent about working from home. He didn’t like how it was worded. Even though the reason I asked to work from home was to watch my kids since they had that day off from school and my wife had to work.
He said he didn’t fire me because our other boss told him not to. So I began to read my review and remember I’m thinking my review has got to be good. Well, I was reading it and it was still referring to things that were written about me years ago. I tell him I’m confused as to why this stuff is on here because none of it is true about me. Idk if he knows that I know exactly what both of my friends wrote. So maybe he thinks he can write a nasty review about me and me not question it.
He was wrong, this time I went to HR since the old HR woman retired. I also mentioned to her how he told me during my review that he was about to fire me due to the way an email was written. She asked me to forward it to her. So I did and she said once she receives my review she will be looking into it.
She said it would be sometime next week and she asked me if I wanted her to talk to my bosses. I told her if she wants to but I was afraid of being fired if she talked to them. Because I sense one of my bosses has it out for me and doesn’t like me. So he is trying to get rid of me and make ways to get rid of me.
I will keep you guys posted on this situation. I am also actively looking for a new job or career due to the toxicity of this office. Also, some of my friends at the office are actively seeking work elsewhere because of office politics.
If you read this blog post thank you and if you have any advice for me feel free to contact me.
I’ve been going to therapy on and off every since I was a kid. What for you might ask as a kid. Well one for my ADHD and two for the anger I had from home abuse. My parents were really bad together and alcoholic’s.
Eventually they separated and they both got away from alcohol. I did too when I got older. Because I found out I am an alcoholic too. But my point of this post is if you have somethings going on with you or happened too you. Don’t lock those emotions away.
Talk to someone. I’ve tried to keep those emotions in me before. Like the emotions I had when I found out my Dad killed himself by shooting himself in the head. I felt angry and mad. I was also very sad. Because although he was abusive when he was drinking. When he wasn’t he was an amazing father and I love you for that Dad. But when I found that out I kept those emotions in.
Then I started to drink heavy. But the emotions got so hard to handle. I also was dealing with my wife separating with me. Then 5 days after my dad passed my grandpa died. So at the time I really felt alone even though I had my kids. But my wife ended up coming back. She wanted to try to make our marriage work. But all those emotions I had buried. It just kept getting to me mentally.
It got so bad that I had put a gun to my head and was about to pull the trigger until I heard my son outside the room calling for me. Just thinking of that moment still gives me the chill’s. So after that moment. I knew I needed to talk to someone.
So I started to talk to a therapist. I ended up selling my gun. I’ve been sober from alcohol for years now. I also still go to therapy. All I’m trying to say is please don’t try to handle all your emotions by yourself. You will always have someone to talk to like friends and family.
If you don’t want to talk to them go see a therapist because it is worth it and I am 1000 percent positive that it saved my life. It also saved my kid’s the pain that I still deal with from my father’s action’s and I never want my kids to feel that pain.
So please use that number if you do feel suicidal and save your friends and family that pain.
Also seriously if you have a lot of things on your mind don’t just bottle it in. It’s not healthy and speak to someone. If you can afford a therapist. Talk to a friend a family member. Just find some sort of positive outlet.
So my daughter asked me if I would shave her head. So I told her to take the night to really think about it and if she still wanted to do it I would. Well that was last night on new years eve. Well today is a new year and my daughter made the decision to start 2022 off without her hair.
So later on today I will cut her hair and continue this blog post when I’m done.
Okay, so it’s been a while now and it went very well. She is very happy now. She was a little nervous when I started to use the clippers. Then she ended up warming up to them. But after cutting her hair she has been smiling more. So I am so glad I cut her hair.
Beamer's Life 